Pride 2023 Student Stories: Understanding Myself Properly

By Hallow Foster

My name is Hallow (They/neos). I study Liberal Arts, majoring in Anthropology, and I’m from Stevenage.

Coming to Uni has been the best thing I’ve ever done in terms of self-exploration. I was 14 when I first realised I was agender, but living at home meant I could never explore it. So, I ignored it to the point that I forgot I ever realised it. That part of me sat, waiting patiently, until I was ready to rediscover it, something I could only do when I moved out from my parent’s house and live for myself.

I’ve known I was bisexual since I knew what sexuality was, and I love that part of me, but it’s only in the last two years that I’ve started to understand myself properly. When I first got to my accommodation, I could finally wear the binder I had picked up from a friend that had ordered for me a year prior. I was sitting in my kitchen with someone, now one of my partners, when I realised that I was aromantic and asexual, and I was hanging out in their room a month later when I realised I was polyamorous, two things that would change the direction of my life and relationships forever. I was watching The West Wing at my desk when I realised I was more trans than I had thought when I finally remembered what I realised at 14.

I trialled new names and pronouns in society discords and meetups and was always met with nothing but love and support. I’ve found a community that I love spending time with and accepts me as I am, and will answer any request for advice, no matter how big or small. I’ve hosted events and helped others access the community that saved my life. I’ve made friends and partners I hope will be around for many more years, and I’m so happy that I can now be who I was always meant to be: myself.